helluvamess | [tlv] character inbox

[tlv] character inbox

"If you're hearing this then I can't be fucked answering right now or some other shit-covered fuckwich is going down on this boat so I'll get back to you when the fuck I can!"

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[The door to Blitzø's cabin looks like a typical shitty apartment door. Inside is pretty much exactly a shitty apartment. The door marked "Loona's room" does not open when tried and it appears that Blitzø himself sleeps on the couch. The walls are covered with images and drawings of horses, however every picture of Blitzø has his face scribbled over.]

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Fuck you.

Yes, Stolas is here, we spoke, it's fucking fine. Is that what you wanted to hear?

I might have done, if you were an even slightly more convincing liar.

Given that it's clearly not fine, do you want to talk about it? 'Talk' can be any number of other verbs; I'm flexible.

What's there to fucking talk about? Admiral shitstain's a piece of crap, already knew that part. Besides, Stolas and I are...

[Over? The goetian prince was done with him? He knew it had been coming and it shouldn't be surprising and yet...?]

I mean there barely was a Stolas and I. It was just you know, a transactional fucking... thing. And now there's no reason for the transaction so why would there be anything else?

You're the one who seems upset about it, so, you tell me.

I am not upset!

There's nothing to be upset about! This is just what royal demons do, they do whatever they like with lower demons and don't give a fuck about any of us. I knew this was going to end up with him getting bored with me eventually so I'm fine. It's exactly what I knew was going to happen and just how things are.

[blitzø you are such a fascinatingly bad liar he wants to put you under a microscope and study you]

I'm not following. Either it was a transactional arrangement that no longer makes sense, or he was bored with you?

[UGH.]

We had a deal in Hell. He'd let me use his fancy ass magic book for my business so we could get up to the living world and kill humans and in return I'd bring it back once a month and fuck him 'til he couldn't walk straight.

There's no book here and I obviously don't have a fucking business either but I figured... you know, maybe, but he's done with me. I mean I knew in Hell it'd probably happen eventually once he was done with his whole "getting rawdogged by a rugged peasant" kink so I'm fine. It's just the natural progression of shit.

'Rawdogged' is a new word to me and I hate it.

Anyway. He really told you that he's tired of you - that your ability to, ah, 'fuck him until he can't walk straight' no longer interests him? In those words?

Well not those exact words but I'm not fucking stupid. Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like me.

Hm.

Do you want to continue sleeping with him? Or...whatever it was you were doing, exactly.

I... fuck. I don't know. Shit's just easier that way?

[Another groan.]

We're getting drunk if you're not gonna leave this alone.

[ohhhh someone definitely needs to exorcise some stuff huh]

Come to my cabin. I have a bottle of something I lifted from the speakeasy.

I hope it's one of those ones that I'm pretty sure were meant to be fuel for the barge.

[But he will head over, even if it's partially hoping that with enough booze the real topic can be forgotten.]

Astarion is leaning against the doorframe, his cat cradled in one arm and draped over his shoulder since she kept trying to explore the hallway and he does not trust anybody here.

"I don't know about 'interplanar ship fuel'," he says by way of greeting, "but it's clear and it hurt my nose when I tried to get the scent. And I don't know the language on the label."

Blitzø looks tired as he trudges past Astarion into the room, barely acknowledging the kitten in his arms.

"Sounds fucking perfect. Hope you got yourself a bottle too."

"I have."

He closes the door behind him and gently sets Aylin down on the floor. There are indeed two bottles on his desk - one clear and incomprehensibly labelled, the other apparently red wine.

"...He paid me a visit earlier, actually. His human guise looked remarkably familiar."

That gives him pause and Blitzø shoots Astarion a puzzled look.

"What, you've met before?"

"Mm? Yes. I assume he was poking around the ship, just - pushing at random doors? We chatted for a while, I told him a little about where he is."

"No I mean... you said he looked familiar, so have you seen him somewhere else?" He doesn't realise what Astarion is implying, despite the fact it's literally right in front of his face.

Astarion just blinks at him for a moment.

"The resemblance is right here, darling," he says, gesturing at his own face. "Pale skin, white hair, red eyes..?"

Blitzø stares at him, then looks him up and down again, like he's just seeing him properly for the first time.

"Satan's ass you mean he looks like you? I mean I guess? I've only seen his human form once. Guess I wasn't thinking about it."

But he is now.

Ah, so he's not being used as a substitute! That's...nice, probably.

"Only once? Given all the 'hello, fellow humans' talk, I did suppose he didn't venture out into the mortal plane too often."

"Only once when I was there, I guess." He shrugs and continues to pick up one of the bottles, sniffing at it and, as the alcohol immediately makes his eyes water, he takes a healthy swig right from the bottle.

"I mean he might have before but when I saw it we were trying to find his missing daughter." He eyes Astarion again now.

"...did you think I only came onto you cause you look the same?"

"As memory serves, darling, it was me coming onto you, for the most part."

He shrugs with one shoulder.

"...The thought crossed my mind. It wouldn't have bothered me."

"Hah! No that was you accepting me coming onto you, I'd been making passed for ages and you kept shutting me down." He grins, looking undeniably smug because this topic? Much easier.

"Fuck that, I don't do rebounds that look like exes or any of that weird replacement shit. I agreed to fuck you because you're fucking hot and you, you know. Fun."

Another swig from the bottle. "And you act all smug but you don't seem to really treat many people like shit far as I can tell."

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