[tlv] character inbox

[helluvamess]

"If you're hearing this then I can't be fucked answering right now or some other shit-covered fuckwich is going down on this boat so I'll get back to you when the fuck I can!"

---

[The door to Blitzø's cabin looks like a typical shitty apartment door. Inside is pretty much exactly a shitty apartment. The door marked "Loona's room" does not open when tried and it appears that Blitzø himself sleeps on the couch. The walls are covered with images and drawings of horses, however every picture of Blitzø has his face scribbled over.]

[text/audio/video/action]

Comments

after the Barge takes off

[riseunparalleled]

Hello, my name's Xie Lian. One of my jobs here is try to look out for 'unpaired' inmates, so I wanted to introduce myself. Sorry it's so late.

[There had been that whole Death thing.]

[helluvamess]

You're lucky there's no complaints system here, can't say you've been doing a good job.

But don't worry about me, I'm handling myself just fine on this shitfest of a boat.

[riseunparalleled]

I think someone did have a complaints box, but people don't always take advantages of the resources they have to hand.

I'm glad to hear it. Still, if there's something you want, that I might be able to get for you, or something that I might be able to tell you, I'd be happy to.

[helluvamess]

Something I want huh?

[He doubts anything he'd ask for will be granted but he may as well ask, so he immediately starts listing things off on his fingers.]

A gun, some smokes, a knife, my phone, oh and a way off this fucking boat.

[riseunparalleled]

I can get you some 'cigarettes', I might be able to get your phone but it wouldn't have access to the outside world [but there are other reasons he might want to have his phone] and I'm afraid I don't feel comfortable giving a weapon to someone I don't know.

I don't believe the last one is something I can do anything about.

[helluvamess]

So the other inmates with weapons, they suck their warden's dicks real good and that's why they got them?

[riseunparalleled]

I've never asked. If people want to reveal personal details, it's usually harder to make them stop than start.

[helluvamess]

Uh-huh, sure. Look if that's what you're fishing for with wanting to "know me better", just say that, princess. I can make time in my busy schedule to bend you over something and rail you for a while.

[riseunparalleled]

[He raises a hand to hide his smile.]

Sorry, you just remind me a little of my cousin. I promise it's just the swearing. Unlike my cousin, I'd like to know you as a person, but I don't believe in trying to force someone into conversations about themselves.

I won't pretend it's difficult to get your hands on a weapon. There are a lot of different philosophies at play.

[helluvamess]

[He's not entirely used to not getting a reaction from others, and Blitzø feels like he probably should be offended but he feels like trying to start a fight about that won't work either.

Which leaves being serious and he's not a fan of that.]

Riiiight, so I'm just supposed to believe that you actually give a fuck about me? Look this is just a job for you so you can get your shiny reward or whatever. So just fuck off.

[riseunparalleled]

[This is exactly the reaction Xie Lian is used to getting. He can't force anyone to believe he cares, all he can do is offer.]

Okay. Do you want cigarettes and your phone?

[helluvamess]

...yes.

[Petulent, but he does want the phone in particular. His photos are on there.]

[riseunparalleled]

The Admiral's agreed to the request. Both should appear in your cabin.

[helluvamess]

[DOUBT.

...until he returns later and they are there by the door, almost like he'd left them there himself.

Not sure how he feels about that. Thanking people is also awkward so he'll just dwell on it for a while.]

Audio

[littletonoidea]

Alright, Shortstack, looks like it's you and me this month. Looks like I might even be your first, so if you need a hand with the whole 'The Fuck Should I Expect From Wardens 101' talk, I'm happy to help.

Re: Audio

[helluvamess]

Yeah, look dipshit. I'm not about to help you with whatever fancy ass deal you've been offered if you graduate someone, so you should probably go running back to Admiral Daddy and tell him how you need someone else, alright?

Re: Audio

[littletonoidea]

And this is why we're playing Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader: Barge Edition! To cure you of all the misconceptions that ail you!

[In a less forcefully enthusiastic, more naturally chill tone:]

Neither of us get a say in you being the guy who gets me my deal, man. You won't get anyone a deal, even if you do spontaneously graduate right now, unless you've got a permanent Warden.

Re: Audio

[helluvamess]

Then I guess this whooooole fuckfest is a waste of time, isn't it? So you may as well take your shit-stained ass and go back to jerking it to how great redemption is or whatever you assholes do to become wardens.

Re: Audio

[littletonoidea]

Yeah, yeah, I'm the stupid asshole that thought helping people was a bold and noble cause, sure.

You know what else I am? Alive if I go home. That is what graduating good for.

Re: Audio

[helluvamess]

Yeah well maybe I didn't ask for that either, fuckface.

Re: Audio

[littletonoidea]

Well, then maybe redemption's not what you're here for. There's plenty of assholes here who haven't like, done anything seriously wrong like entire Geneva violations.

Sometimes it's just... y'know, you need a hand finding something to live for again.

Re: Audio

[helluvamess]

Look, I don't know what the fuck a Geneva violation is, but I kill people for a living and it pays really fucking well, so that's not changing if I go back. But we both know I'm not going to go back so what is the fucking point of being here anyway?

Re: Audio

[littletonoidea]

Not to go full Sun Tsu here, but like. Are you living for the kill, or just killing for a living?

'cos I'll tell you now two of my best friends are a recovered serial killer and a war general by proxy, I know plenty of people with blood on their hands. But there's gotta be more to your life than just waiting for the next hit to come down the line.

Re: Audio

[helluvamess]

[The FUCK is up with this guy? He doesn't bat an eyelid at the type of shit that usually gets a reaction and Blitzø does not appreciate how accurate some of his observations are.]

Fuck, it's just a job as far as I'm concerned. There's plenty of vengeful sinners who'll pay good money for me to pop up topside and explode a few heads. I've got bills to pay too, you know.

And I do plenty other than working too!

Re: Audio

[littletonoidea]

Yeah? Let's hear it. 'cos right now you sound like you've got Beelzebupkis.