helluvamess | [tlv] character inbox

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"If you're hearing this then I can't be fucked answering right now or some other shit-covered fuckwich is going down on this boat so I'll get back to you when the fuck I can!"

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[The door to Blitzø's cabin looks like a typical shitty apartment door. Inside is pretty much exactly a shitty apartment. The door marked "Loona's room" does not open when tried and it appears that Blitzø himself sleeps on the couch. The walls are covered with images and drawings of horses, however every picture of Blitzø has his face scribbled over.]

[text/audio/video/action]

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Yeah, yeah, I'm the stupid asshole that thought helping people was a bold and noble cause, sure.

You know what else I am? Alive if I go home. That is what graduating good for.

Yeah well maybe I didn't ask for that either, fuckface.

Well, then maybe redemption's not what you're here for. There's plenty of assholes here who haven't like, done anything seriously wrong like entire Geneva violations.

Sometimes it's just... y'know, you need a hand finding something to live for again.

Look, I don't know what the fuck a Geneva violation is, but I kill people for a living and it pays really fucking well, so that's not changing if I go back. But we both know I'm not going to go back so what is the fucking point of being here anyway?

Not to go full Sun Tsu here, but like. Are you living for the kill, or just killing for a living?

'cos I'll tell you now two of my best friends are a recovered serial killer and a war general by proxy, I know plenty of people with blood on their hands. But there's gotta be more to your life than just waiting for the next hit to come down the line.

Edited 2024-02-16 10:59 (UTC)

[The FUCK is up with this guy? He doesn't bat an eyelid at the type of shit that usually gets a reaction and Blitzø does not appreciate how accurate some of his observations are.]

Fuck, it's just a job as far as I'm concerned. There's plenty of vengeful sinners who'll pay good money for me to pop up topside and explode a few heads. I've got bills to pay too, you know.

And I do plenty other than working too!

Yeah? Let's hear it. 'cos right now you sound like you've got Beelzebupkis.

[Despite himself he snorts because "Beelzebupkis" is good ok.]

I've got a business and a daughter! So there!

Hey, whaddaya know? I've got a daughter too. Anne, she's nearly ten.

[There is an air of Suspicion because he knows that this is probably under the "getting to know you" part of warden manipulation. :| ]

So why'd you agree to be here then? Don't you wardens get a choice and you signed on for it? Seems like a shit parent move.

Ehh. Bunch of reasons. I'm not winning any dad of the year awards, basically. I haven't been home in like, three years thanks to work.

[Wow fuck this guy, now he feels guilty.]

At least you can fucking admit it.

...what do you do for work?

Corporate slave. Literally.

No shit? Guess that's a reason to be away so long. So what, bartering for freedom with the Admiral?

Let's go with "writing the reason for being arrested out of existence" for now.

[He can tell it's a touchy matter, and for the moment doesn't push further.]

Yeah well, not all of us get some big fancy offer for being here. Hope it pays off like you want.

Well right now I'm two for two on folks going back to the great blue yonder before their time, so I'm still working on the payoff.

[He gives a dry huff.] Honestly, this place is the most work I've ever done in my life.

Hah! I knew it, shit at your job. Not that it matters since there ain't enough power in this boat or anywhere else to get me to do this stupid graduation bullshit.

This isn't a job, Santa's Saddest Reindeer, it's volunteer work with a single massive pay-out. My job is that corporate slave life. Being used as a lab rat for mad scientists and aliens alike.

Lab rat, huh. Did the aliens get all probey with you?

Nah, they were more in the business of maybe-not-evil-but-definitely-missing-the-point clones. My evil capitalist overlords were the ones who used me as a human lab rat.

Yeah, that sounds about right. There's a reason Hell's full of fuckers just like that.

[And then, incredibly nonchalantly because he doesn't really care...]

So what do wardens really do anyway? If there's no point when it's not a permanent paring, why even bother?

Well when you're actually paired, they're gonna be able to give you your powers back, or order cool shit for you from the Admiral. If you wanna get a weapon or magic crap, he's not gonna let us slowly temps have the authority.

Mostly we're supposed to be someone you actually trust. A lot of wardening is just telling everyone else to go suck a dick about your own inmate getting up to something 'cos you think it's funny.

But you can get some shit, can't you? That other guy who said he was fucking watching out until I had a warden, he got me some smokes and my phone. So you must be able to do something.

Yeah, we can get you normal things. Like phones, furniture, we can pimp your whole crib if it sucks that bad - no bathrooms, though, that comes from higher up - food and drinks and stuff. Nothing fancy.

Re: Audio

helluvamess - 2024-02-21 07:09 (UTC) - Expand

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