helluvamess | [tlv] character inbox

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"If you're hearing this then I can't be fucked answering right now or some other shit-covered fuckwich is going down on this boat so I'll get back to you when the fuck I can!"

---

[The door to Blitzø's cabin looks like a typical shitty apartment door. Inside is pretty much exactly a shitty apartment. The door marked "Loona's room" does not open when tried and it appears that Blitzø himself sleeps on the couch. The walls are covered with images and drawings of horses, however every picture of Blitzø has his face scribbled over.]

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"Nah just got my ass kicked and dealt with everyone else being fucking gone and shit and, you know, Stolas and I aren't talking or anything but it's fine, all of it's just great."

He's so fine that Blitzø jumps down from the chair to pace around Astarion's room, glaring at the floor.

He just watches him for a few moments.

"...I know what you'll say if I ask whether you want to talk about it. But if you just want to get it off your chest, I'm listening."

Edited 2024-06-19 11:28 (UTC)

"There's nothing to talk about," Blitzø insists, but he keeps pacing and, after a breath, more just tumbles out of him.

"I mean, I don't even fucking know why we're not talking? I got my arm broken by the new guy and I asked Stolas if he could fucking do magic shit on it or whatever and then he got all pissy that I didn't say it got broken and dragged my ass to the infirmary since he couldn't do anything about it, then I mentioned Florian had healing shit but I didn't want him involved and Stolas fucking just... calls him up and asks him to come around? And then he tells me he's fucking leaving too and acts like I fucked up and I don't even know what the fuck I did wrong!"

As he dumps it all out there, Blitzø keeps pacing, waving his arms around to punctuate points and lashing his tail in the air.

"I mean, what the fuck is his problem?"

Astarion clears his throat gently.

"...If that isn't completely rhetorical, I do have an answer."

Blitzø growls but stops pacing, although he's still agitated and struggling to bring himself back under control.

"Well what the fuck is it?"

"He's extremely powerful in your world, yes? A prince, a higher devil. Now he's been - reduced, to say the least. He's an inmate, his powers have been limited, his authority has been stripped from him - and now he can't even help you, to no small extent because you're not telling him you might need it. His feelings are bruised, so he backs away."

"That makes no fucking sense, since when has Stolas ever wanted to help me with dick?" He rolls his eyes, because clearly Astarion is just straight up wrong here.

"The most he wants is me to help him out by fucking his feathered ass. He's probably just mad I couldn't do it then."

"Blitz. Darling. That doesn't make any sense either, since I assume you could have fucked him with a broken arm if you'd wanted to." Astarion rubs the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. "If you could imagine yourself in a world where Stolas is interested in more than sex, what might his behaviour tell you?"

If he could imagine himself in a world where Stolas was interested... in him? Blitzø stares at Astarion for a moment, and the uncertainty on his face says volumes of how difficult that idea is. It isn't that he doesn't think Stolas is nothing more than a sexed up royal demon, but he can't fathom wanting him of all people.

"I don't know," he answers, folding his arms defensively and glaring at the wall instead of Astarion. "Fuck, maybe he just hates Florian."

"Maybe. But I don't love you thinking so poorly of a friend of mine," Astarion sighs.

"I didn't mean I hate Florian," Blitzø retorts. "And I don't think poorly of him either! O-or Stolas."

Astarion smiles.

"And I'm not talking about either of them. I'm talking about you."

"Me?" He doesn't quite get what the vampire means and gives him a confused look, which is at least an improvement from the tension and defensiveness.

"First of all, I talk shit about myself all the time. I know I'm a shitty shitbag. Second, the fuck do you mean?"

Astarion leans out to catch Blitzø's wrist gently.

"I don't think you're a shitbag. I would bet my right arm that Stolas doesn't think you're a shitbag. Please don't criticise our good taste in company, mm?" he says, with exaggerated grandiosity.

Blitzø sighs and droops, giving in and climbing up onto the bed to scratch Aylin's ears.

"I don't know if I'd be too sure about Stolas. I mean, fine, maybe he doesn't hate me but I'm pretty sure I'm just... nothing to him anyway. Imps are just like furniture to higher level demons. They just do what they like and dismiss us when it's over."

Aylin miaows and nuzzles up against him, settling down and starting to purr like an engine.

"Have you ever asked him?" Astarion wonders, levelly.

Blitzø has never had a cat before, and the ones in Hell aren't the same as Aylin anyway, but as she starts purring he finds himself relaxing more in turn. It makes it hard to keep being angry as he speaks with Astarion.

"Ask him what? 'Hey Stolas, you know how you treat your staff? Well am I the same as that or am I special?'" He flutters his eyes at Astarion before rolling them. "Fuck that."

"Darling, please, you don't have to put yourself in that kind of corner. All I'm saying is that if you want to know what he thinks of you, there's an easy way to find out."

But his tone is soft and undemanding. He knows there's a real safety in just...not knowing.

"...should I find out?" he asks after a moment. "I mean, what if I do and it's shit? Or worse, it's not shit? Then what?"

"Well, first of all, let's not limit ourselves," Astarion drawls. "There's three options here. First, it's shit. Second, it's not shit. Third, you get an ambiguous answer which just leaves you with more questions because he's at least as emotionally illiterate as you are."

"Yeah, none of that sounds like a great time so why would I want to find out which one it is? First one, he thinks I'm just a plaything and it's just sex and then what? I keep doing it? Second... it's not that and then he realises that I'm a shitty fucker who can't hold a relationship ever and has ruined everything good that comes his way and who'd want that?"

He rolls on his back, his horns digging into the bed as he gestures up at the ceiling. "And the last one is basically where we are already so what's the point?"

"If I were in your position, I would want to have more information," Astarion says. "That's all."

He reaches across to brush his fingertips along Blitzø's arm.

"I'll drop it, darling. It's your life."

Blitzø grumbles and, at the touch, curls in against Astarion's side not unlike a much larger version of the kitten also cuddling up to the vampire.

"...have you ever been in this position?"

"No," he admits. "I've tried to start a strictly transactional relationship, and...then got rejected before it could go awry."

Which sounds like it was probably a mercy, all things considered.

He lifts his head, looking up at Astarion's face in confusion. "Fucking why? They decided they can't handle too much of a good thing or some shit?"

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