[tlv] character inbox

[helluvamess]

"If you're hearing this then I can't be fucked answering right now or some other shit-covered fuckwich is going down on this boat so I'll get back to you when the fuck I can!"

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[The door to Blitzø's cabin looks like a typical shitty apartment door. Inside is pretty much exactly a shitty apartment. The door marked "Loona's room" does not open when tried and it appears that Blitzø himself sleeps on the couch. The walls are covered with images and drawings of horses, however every picture of Blitzø has his face scribbled over.]

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Comments

[atowncalledtreffy]

[oh, what the fuck.

He knocks again, scowling. It’s far too early for this shit.

Then again, he’s nocturnal, so theoretically any time he’s awake during the day is too early]

[helluvamess]

[There's the sound of the door locking.]

The fuck are you here for?! I didn't stab anyone, so fuck off!

[atowncalledtreffy]

[Christ]

You’re not in trouble.

Is that any way to talk to your fucking warden?

[helluvamess]

Eiffel's my warden and why the fuck would I be nice just because of that? You said you'd hang me off the side of the boat in case you forgot!

[atowncalledtreffy]

I said IF you stabbed more people in the kitchen. Don’t stab, I won’t hang you from our new kitchen jail.

You sure about that?

[helluvamess]

Am I sure about getting put in a fucking jail or about Eiffel being my warden?

[There's a pause, and perhaps Trevor can make out the sound of Blitzø checking the network.]

Christ on a stick.

[The door unlocks and opens, and he stares up at him.]

So what, this is the 'do what I say, I make the rules, blah blah blah' bullshit speech time?

[atowncalledtreffy]

[he waits, patient, for the little imp to verify. When the door opens again, it’s to a Trevor who has his usual tired gaze. It holds no malice]

If you want.

[helluvamess]

Hah! Like this place ever gives a shit what I want.

[He looks at Trevor properly.]

Well don't you look like shit warmed over? You want some fucking coffee? You can do the lecture shit while I make it.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Coffee’d be nice. Thanks.

[he walks inside, looking for somewhere to parkm]

[helluvamess]

[Blitzø heads for the little kitchen, rummaging around until he finds a dubious looking can of instant coffee.]

So can we skip the part about staying out of the kitchen and not defending myself? Figure we covered that enough already.

[He dumps coffee in cups and adds water and... that's it. There's no milk or sugar or anything else, enjoy that Trevor.]

[atowncalledtreffy]

[Trevor plops down on Blitzø's couch, settling in. All told, he prefers shitty hosting as opposed to feeling out-of-sorts with a person from a fancier timeline than his. He takes the mug without complaint]

Sure.

[Blitzø talks a lot. Trevor..missed that. He never knows what to say for these things so he feels it's better to just sit and let the little imp go off]

[helluvamess]

[Blitzø eyes him suspiciously, waiting for a lecture that doesn't appear like it's going to show up, and takes a seat on the opposite side of the couch.]

Guess the Admiral thinks he's really fucking smart, making me your problem. Hope you weren't holding out for whatever fucking deal you made.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Don't have one.

[he drinks the tea. Makes a face. Then drinks more. Not the worst he's had]

You want it?

[helluvamess]

[That just earns another suspicious look.]

Yeah, nice try. I've heard of this trick before, offer it to the inmate if they play nice, no way for us to know that you'll actually follow through when it happens. And how the fuck would we check anyway?

Keep your manipulation bullshit to yourself, I've had that schtick before.

[atowncalledtreffy]

[He gazes right back. Who hurt you, Blitz?]

Yeah. Because I have the time and energy to make up shit like that to get you to graduate.

Look, I don't care. It's yours for the taking but if you don't want it, you don't want it.

Ask anyone on this ship about me. Or don't. But I came here to figure out what you want.

Do you want to graduate?

[helluvamess]

[do you want like a list or what]

[Trevor is, he decides, fucking weird. Blitzø knows what he's like and in fact, prides himself on being an asshole to pretty much everyone. So Trevor facing that and still giving a shit, as well as the surprising number of people on this boat who apparently also give a shit? It's enough to make an imp think he was losing his touch. The question hits a little too close to home, and while he does his best to look like it's the most boring thing he could be asked, his tail lashes in agitation and curls around his knees.]

Fuck knows if I even can. I'm an assassin and I kill people for a living, that part isn't gonna fucking stop if I magically get back to the Hell I'm from, so if I'm supposed to have some big fucking revelation about how life is precious or some shit, guess I'm stuck here a while.

[atowncalledtreffy]

If it's ability to graduate, I can think of half a dozen assholes I've seen with far worse crimes than you who've come through here, graduated, and gone back to doing exactly what you were doing. The Necromancer in Charge doesn't seem to give much of a fuck. And like I implied, I don't care how long it takes. I'm here until I'm forcibly removed from this ship.

[He tilts his head, catching onto the real meaning behind it all]

So go on. Do you want to graduate or not? I'm asking because if you don't care, I don't care. If you want to, I'll help figure a path out for you that both keeps your personality intact and satisfies the Necromancer.

[helluvamess]

[At this point, Blitzø is staring enough at Trevor that the man may be forgiven for thinking that the imp has either stopped understanding whatever language they all speak or that Trevor himself might have sprouted a second head or something. He wants to ask why Trevor even cares, but doesn't know if the answer would even make any sense, that it might just be who Trevor is and that's just... weird.

So instead he tries for something smaller to begin with.]

You think I can? 'Cause I'm a fucking demon who kills people, not sure what the fuck Admiral Dickwaffle even wants me to do here.

[atowncalledtreffy]

[Oh Blitzø. Trevor knows he's weird, even on this terrible ship full of weird people. At this point he tends to ignore it all and soldier on through.

He shrugs, leaning forward on his knees. Decides he has to give a concrete example for Blitzø to start believing graduation's even possible for him]

The Belmonts have...had an ancestral enemy. An ancient vampire who'd been around for at least five hundred years when I was born. Who directly murdered at least twenty of my ancestors and impaled or drank the blood of thousands of people we'd sworn to protect.

The last few years of my life, he'd made a decision to kill the entire world and had an army capable of doing it. We - me, two others - managed to kill him. We spent the next year making sure no one could resurrect him from Hell.

And I died, and came here. And he was here. That son of a bitch graduated right in front of me. Rubbed it in my face, told me he didn't want to kill all the world, just the people responsible for wrongs committed against him. Even stayed on as a warden.

So...yeah. You can. The Necromancer doesn't steal the irredeemable dead. And he has a very loose definition of the word 'irredeemable.'

[helluvamess]

How the fuck does anyone know what they have to do to graduate then?

[Alright, he can get where Trevor is coming from and maybe think that the guy does actually think he's not a complete loss, but that just seems to open up the floodgates on like... everything he's been sitting on.]

Some used cumstain drags me here and I'm supposed to fucking graduate but no one fucking knows what that means, other than vague bullshit about being better like that makes any more fucking sense?! Better fucking how?! And who the fuck gave him the right to say I'm not fucking good enough?!

[atowncalledtreffy]

[oh that's a very bitter, tired smile Trevor's wearing now. His 'line' of warden-inmate pairs - Lark, him, Dimitri - all had the same anger and pissiness against the Admiral that Blitzø is even now starting to display. He wonders if all inmates go through this or if it's just their own special brand of asshole]

One of the many reasons I hate him. Sure.

He gives a file to the permanent pairs but it's sometimes worse than useless.

[helluvamess]

[He stills completely at that.]

...what kind of file?

[atowncalledtreffy]

[He withdraws Blitzø's file from his cloak and holds it out for him to take]

[helluvamess]

[He takes the file and flicks through it just enough to see what it says, know exactly how detailed it is.

Then he will try to tear it to bits. He imagines that the Admiral has probably made it impossible, but he's sure gonna try.]

[atowncalledtreffy]

[well he should have figured that was going to happen. Trevor watches: the file is only made of paper, nothing magical about it.

He knows firsthand how intrusive these things can feel]