helluvamess | [tlv] character inbox

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"If you're hearing this then I can't be fucked answering right now or some other shit-covered fuckwich is going down on this boat so I'll get back to you when the fuck I can!"

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[The door to Blitzø's cabin looks like a typical shitty apartment door. Inside is pretty much exactly a shitty apartment. The door marked "Loona's room" does not open when tried and it appears that Blitzø himself sleeps on the couch. The walls are covered with images and drawings of horses, however every picture of Blitzø has his face scribbled over.]

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[Hanna is so thankful this is audio because he's just rolling his fucking eyes. If he wanted to make everyone believe what he was saying he had to commit to the bit and keep his story straight, right? No mistakes.]

So, shot in the dark here, you're both dead, so any contract you had before was probably null and void unless he was expecting to fuck your corpse after it'd cooled if he was still alive.

So, if that's all it was, a deal, you're being a little weird about keeping it up after the terms are finished. And also this place is about fixing your life bullshit, right? Maybe he feels bad about making it just about sex now that he can look at it and be like, "well huh. That sure was a manipulative and shitty thing to do to my dear old pal Blitzy" But I could be totally off base here, so who knows.

Yeah but we're not fucking dead dead here, are we? Otherwise we couldn't die again like happens every other fucking week when someone gets pissed off enough. [#bargelife]

[There are, of course, other reasons that the deal is broken now, but he's not about to get into those with Hanna.

And he's a royal demon, they don't feel bad about shit when it comes to us imps. Fuck, I've seen his butler get tossed around like furniture. I just... I need this deal, ok? If we ever get out of here I'm fucked without it.

Second chance and all that, sure but you still died to get here. Pretty sure they let people on death row off if they survive after a fucking lethal injection, so we still all technically died. [He shrugs, but if the logic wasn't sound, wasn't what Blitz wanted as the truth, he couldn't change that.]

I'm not going to tell him it's null and void, that's just for you to think about. But I get it. Some things you just gotta do, no matter how fucked. Just, maybe tone down the piss and vinegar if you want it to work out. Most people don't want their entire fucking spot blown up in the middle of the hallway by someone they think they're above as a rule, trust me. I've pissed off enough vampires to know that doesn't fucking work out in anyones favor.

So what, be all fucking... sucking his dick and pretending nice and shit?

[Look, for someone who's always said exactly what they're thinking all the time, that's a tall order.]

[Hanna stares at his communicator, trying so hard not to ask, but he can't help it.]

Okay, now I'm confused. I thought I knew what he had going on down there but now I'm totally not sure. [He really doesn't want or need to know, but he's never going to stop thinking about which one it is if he never asks.]

But, uh. No. That sounds like a shitty thing to do also. Pretending is bullshit. Just, I don't know. Maybe not scream at him to fuck in the middle of the night? Shoot him a text, ask him if he's feeling it rather than just showing up? Solidify the terms so you're both on the same page? There are hundreds of options between screaming and pretending to be nice.

Oh he's got one of those cloaca things. Wears a strap sometimes which is also great, I'm not picky about my pleasure you know?

[Hanna now has to reconcile that he did ask and probably shouldn't have. And Blitz, did you just ignore his advice in favor of telling him about Stolas' junk?]

Oh...huh. I guess he really is a bird. [The fact that he's so tall also makes him wonder about the size relative to the both of them being so much shorter and- he isn't thinking about this any more.]

Um. Well? I hope shit settles down a little and you get your arrangement sorted out. I'm around if you need anything else, I guess. Whenever.

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